Walking Sticks and Birthday Balloons
Sometimes you can have the most fun doing seemingly ordinary things. This was the kind of joy I had with my mom as we celebrated her 72nd birthday. We lunched at our favorite Chinese restaurant. We arrived to order two lunch specials of hot tea, egg rolls, and egg drop soup, with the entree. I ordered Kung Pao Chicken, while she ordered Kung Pao Beef. We especially loved how the Chinese hot mustard felt like a flame shooting up our sinus cavities with each taste.
Later we went thrift shopping. Both of us love a good bargain and trying to find a treasure in the midst of old stuff. This time we gathered an armful of books from the $.25 bin.
After getting a slice of lemon meringue pie from Perkins, Dad drove us to the Greenbelt nature trail to walk off the sugar. Being early spring, the trees were still bare. My dad opened the trunk to get their two sets of walking poles. I laughed to myself thinking, why would you need walking poles on the nature trail? We live in Iowa, there is barely a hill in these parts.
Truth be told, my parents love their walking sticks. They have taken them to many events both indoors and out. As I shared a picture on FaceBook my daughter laughed. She recalled her grandparents walking down the high school hall with their poles in hand to attend her Speech competition. My Mom and Dad are quirky. When my Dad loves something new he is not shy about telling everyone he sees about it. He could wax eloquently on the advantages of these walking aids as if he were the mascot. I have matured past the age of being embarrassed by this new gadget zeal.
I smile enjoying their energetic passion as they lunge down the trail like two praying mantises. I declined the offer to try out their favored walking aids. I was more intent on hearing about all the flowers my mom was discovering that afternoon. We were glad we wore our heavier coats. When the sun was covered by a passing cloud the spring air did not feel warm, but suddenly colder with a gust of wind blowing through the tall barren trees. In a month the woods would be dense with leafage, but for now, the leaves are small and light green as they dot the surroundings like verdant surprises. We oohed and ahhed at the budding Bluebells, the first Violets, and the tiny white Dutchman Breeches blossoming in the thicket. My mom and dad laughed together as we walked along with the aid of their sticks.
Steve and Geraldine Tullis, my parents, have been married for over 50 years now. Their relationship has grown closer through the years of life’s struggles. On the trail, a sudden gust catches my mom’s white hair throwing it into her eyes. We stopped so she could tie her hair back. Dad poked fun at her as he waited. She laughed at his obnoxious flirting.
My parents started dating when my mom was only 16 years old. My dad was four years older and rode a motorcycle. He had to ask her Father for permission to date. My grandfather, Vernon was a rough character, so it took courage for Dad to ask. But as long as he brought her home before curfew he had Vernon’s blessing.
They married right after she turned twenty years old. Within a year they had their first baby, my brother David. Within seven years all four of us would be born. My Dad was a machinist at the John Deere plant. He worked long hours in a sweltering hot factory as my mom tried to keep her three boys and little girl fed and safe from the shenanigans we were always getting into.
Their young married years were hard. Conflicts arose with both sides of the family. Often they felt isolated as they tried to raise us in a Christian home. They were new to the faith and attended a legalistic church. Trying to follow a long list of church rules they failed to fit in with the other young couples. It was stressful and humbling. Still, they loved to laugh with each other. This was a type of walking stick that anchored them through the trials to come.
In my teenage years, all hell seemed to break loose in our little home. My parents were discouraged and had stopped going to church meanwhile, each of us four kids struggled to find our own identities. Problems sprung up everywhere with teenage drinking, messy relationships, and even phone calls from the police.
But in the darkest moment, God showed up. They attended a Church revival service. I was in college when they attended their first Friday Night Alive. The event was so popular they had to stand in line outside the church for over an hour to get a seat. In the service that first night, the power of God brought them to tears as they began to hope again.
As their four kids walked into our twenties we carried the burden of trying to find our way in the world, but Mom and Dad had a sense of hope as they prayed for us together. They tried as much as they could to help us, but when they could not help they prayed.
In our thirties, sickness hit our mother. She was sick for a long time and as she struggled my dad sat at her side. She had always been the one to make meals and keep things organized, but in her sickness, he took up the slack and realized just how much he treasured her.
Miraculously she began to get better and slowly returned to her energetic self. On their fiftieth-anniversary party the family gathered to celebrate as they danced together on that special night. The party was not a huge event but it was special nonetheless. The Reverend Brad Singleton officiated the renewal of their vows. There wasn’t a dry eye in the small gathering. After all the years, they were convinced they would have lived it all again for the joy of being together and knowing God’s help through it all. The secret to their love is wrapped around their faith in God. He was the walking poles that brought them through the hard times.
Benefits of using Walking Poles:
Help share the load of your weight- any burden carried on the back will be more evenly distributed across the whole body.
Protect your knees from the impact of walking, especially when walking downhill.
Increase your walking speed, especially on rough terrain and going downhill.
“This is the best Birthday ever!” Mom said as we rounded the curve toward the parking lot.
Old Oak trees were leaning, and some had fallen to the ground in the woods. We looked on sadly, as somehow fallen trees felt like the death of old souls. I looked at my parents reflecting on their story. Smiling at the love beaming between them. They had invited me on one of their favorite dates.
Later we settled down to a bowl of warm chicken noodle soup and a game of cards. It was fun to talk, laugh and eat together. I spent the night in my childhood bedroom. It has been repainted. The only thing that reminded me of my adolescents now was the mirrored glass closet doors. As a teen, I used to sit next to them looking at myself. I wondered if I was pretty enough to be chosen.
I hoped to someday be swept off my feet by a man who was crazy about me. Someone that would want to marry me. But I didn’t know if my face and my form were enough to snag a really good one. Sure I had dates and an occasional boyfriend, but the relationships never lasted long. Then during my first year of college, I met Brad Singleton. We were almost instantly in love. Now Brad and I are approaching the 25-year mark next month, but our story is not just sunshine and roses.
To be married for any length of time all couples must descend through steep and rough terrain. We have not been spared hardships in life, but we are still holding hands, and like my parents, I hope to gain a sense of humor in it all. Life throws curve balls, but we have a choice in how we frame the difficult details. We can crumble in the ugly moments or we can get determined to see it through. Perhaps that is why Gerri and Steve take their sticks everywhere they go. They are confident as they walk knowing life is full of winding turns and unexpected potholes. They can laugh at the days to come because their faith and commitment to each other will bring them through it all.
This is the profound lesson I learned while enjoying a simple walk on my mother’s 72nd Birthday.
I love you, Mom!
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